Tomorrow

Today, I feel a little depressed. Because my patient was upset. Tomorrow is the day that she is supposed to go home after a week of rehabilitation. But due to the goal she aims to achieve, and how we deem that as unsafe for her, she got her candy taken away. She had a decision to make. It is either that she forsakes her goal, or that she stays under our care for another week or two. In my honest opinion, she made the right one.

However, her sadness was palpable and it rubbed off on me. Seeing her sullen self, watching her smile to assure us that she is fine, together with the occasional dark comments she make, I feel for her.

After spending two weeks in Inpatient, I look at life in a different light. I had always spent a lot of time with my family, but now it seems like it is not enough. It seems as though it will never be enough. This morning, I woke up an hour earlier to spread peanut butter on white bread for Pops, just because he had mentioned over yesterday's dinner that he wanted to have them. Hearing him thank me out loud for the first time jostled my complacency. When was the last time I had ever done anything for him?

I just found out after my bath that my lifegivers will both be free tomorrow night. I am going to go to the nearest mall with them to catch a movie, something that they have not done in the last decade.

Today, I may be a little upset. But I am sure that tomorrow will be one of the best days in this year. Because I love this couple to bits, and I will make sure that all will be good tomorrow ♥

Saizeriya

Art House

Yesterday

Yesterday, we caught the movie Ah Boys To Men. Yesterday was the first day in a long time that we have spent one whole day together, not quarrelling in the slightest. It sure was a feat, considering the fact that we have been quarrelling over everything under the sun in the past year. Yesterday was a good day.

"I love you. I love your wide eyes. The way you smile. The way you laugh at my jokes. Your shyness. I love you."

– Brief Encounter

Grey

I cannot put how I am feeling right now into words.

I spent my long weekend studying half-heartedly and watching korean dramas in the comfort of my own room. I spent yesterday night talking to my x-man when I was going to have a practical this afternoon. On my way to school, I glanced through my notes time and again to make sure that I did not miss out anything.

I was told to stay back for a short chat with my teacher after my practical. Thereafter, as I was recounting the experience with my friends, I saw red for a short while......and the red changed to white as I rushed off for my dental appointment. I was seething with anger from the things he had said to me.

After dinner with my x-man, I went home alone. On the trip back, I replayed the entire chat in my head. I reeled in from shock when a particular word from the conversation popped up, and it formed a seemingly endless echo in the depths of my head. Disappointed. My teacher said he was disappointed in me.

It got me thinking, what have I been doing this year?

I have gone for practicals, knowing that I might not do well and yet I did not bother to study hard for it. I have gone for lectures with my fingers permanently glued to my phone's screen, not my study materials. I have gone for tutorials with my eyes glazed over and mind wandering about how to deal with my relationship problems. I have spent the long trips to school playing games on my phone and iPad, not bothering to read through my notes avidly like I did in my first year.

What have I been doing to my life?

There is a fine line between living my life better, and showing you that I am living my life better. I think that somewhere along the way, I lost the distinction.

I need to get my life back on track. One that does not involve sleeping past 2 in the morning to deal with relationship problems, and one that does not involve walking through doors and hoping that I will walk out of them feeling better than how I had felt before I went in.

Those Days

These are the people who were with me through the period when I got 40 for an L1R5 aggregate score. They are my staff-toilet Big 2 buddies, my partners-in-crime throughout those bitchy years, and one of the few people who made my younger days that much better.

"There are things that happen in a person's life that are so scorched in the memory and burned into the heart that there's no forgetting them."

– John Boyne, Mutiny on the Bounty

Precious

It is currently in the month of November, and this year thus far has been a turbulent one. I have fought for things which I had thought I wanted and/or needed, sacrificing time for them when I should actually be dealing with my priorities (e.g. school), loved and lost and love again, found and met an old love, relinquished my guilt of never saying the things I should have said to him, and staying out till the sun rises when I never particularly liked staying up, much less out.

Even though I never had enough time to study for my previous semester as I was surfing through a tough wave termed relationship, my GPA rose. I got my scholarship in the same semester.

I have experienced a particularly horrid lesson this year though. It is one that my Mom had always been telling me since young, and even though I have watched the exact same scenario unravel, I was never unfortunate (or should I say fortunate) enough to have it happen to myself.

When a guy loves you, he loves you. And no matter what happens, he will still think that the sun shines out of your lovely ass.

Prologue

I have been shifting back and forth between Blogger and Tumblr for the past few years. I must admit that even though Tumblr has a much better interface, Blogger is more personal and this much closer to the heart. So hello, Appertain. I hope that this time, I will be here for good :)