I See You.

To wake up in the morning and open the door to the wide grin plastered on your face makes my day. To start up my text messaging app, and read your messages starting from 7 in the morning to say that you have woken up early to shop for my breakfast makes my heart flutter. To come out from my shower and see you working hard in the kitchen makes me feel blessed. To hear that when Superbowl did not have a particular brand of jam, you went down to Clementi before coming back again, makes me feel light-headed with happiness. To have you sitting opposite me, popping each and every morsel of food into your mouth whenever I did the same, reminds me of the dreams I had of us. To finally tell you the very mistake I made in the god-forbidden month...is a liberation.

Tanjung Pinang

This was taken while I was preoccupied with the veins that were showing at my popliteal fossa after the bone-breaking massage. Can someone remind me to never come up with funny poses while le boyfriend is meddling with the camera AND to walk out of massage parlours which have poles donned on their ceilings? I must say that I do not particularly enjoy having women double my size stepping on my back!

Love is.

Love is watching a movie with him with both of your hands clasped together tightly. Love is when you let go of one of your hands, meaning to point to the large Coke sitting beside him and have him reach out for it before you have the chance to do so. Love is when you lean your head on his shoulders, and he turns around to smell your hair. Love is when you go from shop to shop, browsing through each and every rack just to look for the perfect shirt for him. Love is the way his eyes light up after you reveal that the present your friend had been holding is actually for him. Love is the way he frowns as he separates scotch-tape from paper without tearing anything. Love is how his mouth pushes into a pout almost immediately after you tear the wrapping paper accidentally while trying to help him out. Love is the way your heartbeat picks up speed just before he sees the present, unsure if he will like it.

Love is looking at him in wonder, knowing that his heart is yours to keep.

Paranoid

I guess, with due credit, I can be termed title.

When life is a breeze, I create problems for myself. I tell myself that life should not be this easy, and I will look into the different aspects of life and seek improvements. I will look at myself, scrutinize each and every pore, and tell myself that something is wrong.

I will never be happy with what I have.

On a brighter note, inservice presentation today had gone better than what I had expected. Gone were the days when my mind would whir faster than my tongue could catch up (though sadly, I still read off the slides and find it hard to look past the computer screen). I suck at presentations. I hate presentations. But I am glad that I did not disappoint myself today.

"Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two."

– Louis de Bernieres

Stay.

How do you measure luck when you meet a man who shaves off his entire head of hair when you say you do not like it? How do you measure hurt when the mere thought of that god-forbidden month causes tears to spring from the side of your eyes? How do you measure love when he has been there through your good and bad, strayed, and stayed?

I love you. I love you to the moon and back.

“Even when I detach, I care. You can be separate from a thing and still care about it. If I wanted to detach completely, I would move my body away. I would stop the conversation midsentence. I would leave the bed. Instead, I hover over it for a second. I glance off in another direction. But I always glance back at you.”

– David Levithan, The Lover’s Dictionary

Family Day